13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do
Amy Morin
21 min
9 Key Points
4.7 RateWhat's inside?
Discover the 13 habits you need to avoid in order to become mentally stronger, embrace change, overcome fears, and train your brain for happiness and success.
You'll learn
1. Boosting your brain power and bounce-back ability2. Facing change and fears like a boss3. Training your brain for a happy, successful life4. Taking control when life gets tough5. 13 things tough-minded folks never do6. Building a positive mindset and ditching bad habits.Key points
01Being mentally stable isn't about being cold or tough, it's about handling stress and being empathetic
Let's clear up a big misunderstanding about what it means to be mentally strong. Some folks think it's about being emotionally cold or tough as nails. They picture someone who can face any situation without batting an eye or showing any feelings. But that's not what mental strength is all about. So, what is mental strength? It's the grit and resilience you have to tackle life's challenges, bounce back from tough times, and keep a positive attitude. It's about controlling your emotions, managing your thoughts, and acting positively, no matter what's going on around you. Now, let's debunk that myth. Being mentally strong doesn't mean you're an emotionless robot. It's not about putting on a brave face or hiding your feelings. Actually, it's the complete opposite. Mentally strong people recognize their emotions—both good and bad—and handle them in a healthy, constructive way. They don't run from their feelings, they face them head-on. They know it's okay to feel sad, angry, or scared, and they let themselves experience these emotions without letting them take over. Imagine someone who's just lost a loved one. A mentally strong person doesn't hide their grief or pretend everything's fine. They let themselves feel the pain, grieve, and even cry. But they also know they can't let their grief take over their life. They find healthy ways to cope, like reaching out to friends and family or talking to a counselor, and they take steps to move forward. The key point here is that mental strength is about controlling your emotions, not getting rid of them. It's about having the courage to face your feelings, the wisdom to understand them, and the resilience to keep going. So, being mentally strong doesn’t mean being cold and tough, it means being emotionally aware, resilient, and adaptable.
02Don't wallow in self-pity, it's a waste of time. Focus on solutions and moving forward
Feeling sorry for yourself can be a real downer, right? That's what Amy Morin thinks, and she's got a point. In her book, she talks about how wallowing in self-pity can be a real drain on your mental health and overall happiness. So, what's self-pity? It's when you're so focused on your own problems, whether they're real or just in your head, that you can't see anything else. It's like being stuck in a never-ending cycle of sadness, regret, and disappointment. You keep replaying the same sad story in your head over and over again. But why is this such a bad thing? Here's why: 1. It's a time and energy sucker: Self-pity is like a mental marathon. It takes a lot of mental stamina to keep feeling sorry for yourself. That energy could be better used on finding solutions to your problems or doing things that make you happy. 2. It's a negativity magnet: When you're stuck in self-pity mode, it's easy for other negative emotions to join the party. Feelings like loneliness, anger, and resentment often tag along, making you feel even worse. 3. It messes with your view of the world: When you're drowning in self-pity, you start to see everything through a negative lens. You might start to think that you're the unluckiest person ever, which can stop you from trying to make things better. 4. It's a distraction: Self-pity can be a sneaky way to avoid dealing with your real problems. Instead of facing your issues and working through your feelings, you might use self-pity as a way to dodge them. 5. It blinds you to the good stuff: When you're so focused on your problems, it's hard to see the good things in your life. This can make you forget to appreciate the good things you do have. 6. It can ruin your relationships: Always complaining or playing the victim can push people away. It's hard for others to be around someone who's always negative and self-focused. So, how do you kick self-pity to the curb? Morin suggests practicing gratitude. This means consciously recognizing the good things in your life, no matter how small. You could start a gratitude journal, where you write down three things you're grateful for each day. This can help shift your focus from negative to positive, and according to a study in a psychology journal, it can even boost your physical health. In a nutshell, it's okay to feel sad or disappointed sometimes, but don't let those feelings turn into self-pity. By practicing gratitude and focusing on the positive, you can break the self-pity cycle and develop a healthier, more positive mindset.
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03Keep your inner strength and let go of things you can't control. It's good for your mental health
04Welcome change and don't worry about pleasing everyone. Do what's best for you
05Don't fear taking risks and leave your past behind. Learn from it but don't let it define you
06Learn from your mistakes and don't be jealous of others' success. Focus on your own journey
07Don't give up after failing once and don't fear being alone. Use it for self-reflection and relaxation
08Mentally strong people don't feel entitled and don't expect instant success. They're ready to work hard and wait for results
09Conclusion
About Amy Morin
Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and a lecturer at Northeastern University. Known for her expertise in mental strength, she's a sought-after speaker and the author of the international bestseller "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do." She's also a regular contributor to Forbes and Psychology Today.
