All Boys Aren't Blue

01Tough times that made me who I am

George M. Johnson's life story is a testament to how our past traumas shape us. This theme is woven throughout his narrative, deeply rooted in his personal experiences and identity. From the get-go, George knew he wasn't like other boys. He was more interested in dolls and hairstyles, things society labeled as girly, rather than the typical boyish stuff like sports and cars. This was his first hint that he was different, a difference that would later be recognized as his queer identity. George's story starts in a small city in New Jersey, where he was born and raised in a middle-class family. His folks were hardworking people, always striving to give their kids a better life. His dad was a cop who worked all hours, and his mom held down two jobs. Because of this, George and his brothers were mostly brought up by their grandma, Nanny. One of the most defining moments in George's life happened when he was just a kid, only five years old. He was walking home from school with his cousins when a group of six kids they didn't know jumped them. George, who had always kind of blended into the background, suddenly became the main target. They knocked his teeth out, and in a desperate move to protect himself, George bit one of the attacker's leg. After the attack, a cop asked George to open his mouth to record the evidence. But there were no counselors or therapists there to help him deal with what had happened. Back then, society had a tough image of what Black boys should be like. They were supposed to be strong, tough, and not show any pain. So, George put on this tough-guy act, wearing it like a mask in front of his community and the kids who didn't respect his Blackness. This brutal attack changed George's life. The happy, smiling five-year-old was now hidden deep inside him, replaced by a tough exterior that was a result of societal expectations and personal trauma. This was a turning point for George, shaping who he was and how he saw himself. As he got older, George started to explore his identity, looking at how society's ideas of what it means to be a man and to be Black had shaped him. He decided to share his story with the world, giving a voice to the millions of queer and Black folks who never had the chance to tell their own stories. In a nutshell, our past traumas shape us. Through his own experiences, George M. Johnson shows us how societal expectations and personal traumas can have a huge impact on who we are and how we live our lives.