Better Than Before
Gretchen Rubin
17 min
7 Key Points
4.3 RateWhat's inside?
Explore the power of habits and how to harness them to improve your daily life and overall well-being.
You'll learn
1. Tricks to get a grip on your habits2. What's your habit personality?3. How to make good habits and ditch the bad ones4. Knowing yourself helps make habits stick5. Keep track, plan, and be accountable to change habits6. Use habits to boost your happiness and get stuff done.Key points
01Want to change your life? Start by changing your daily habits
Let's talk about habits. You know, those little things we do every day without even thinking about it. Like brushing your teeth when you wake up or reaching for that cup of coffee first thing in the morning. These are habits, actions so deeply woven into our daily routines that we do them almost without thinking. So, why are we talking about habits? Well, it turns out they're pretty important when it comes to making changes in our lives. You see, habits are like little shortcuts for our brains. Once we've formed a habit, we don't need to use much willpower or self-control to keep it going. And that's a big deal because willpower isn't unlimited. It's like a battery that drains throughout the day. Ever noticed how it's harder to say no to that slice of chocolate cake in the evening than it is in the morning? That's your willpower battery running low. But habits, they're different. They help us save our willpower for when we really need it. Sure, forming a new habit might take a bit of self-control at first. But once it's established, it becomes part of our automatic routine. We can do what we want to do without having to constantly flex our willpower muscles or make tough decisions. That's how habits can help us make changes in our lives. Let's say you want to be healthier. You could start by making a habit of going for a run every morning. At first, it might take some willpower to drag yourself out of bed and hit the pavement. But as this becomes a habit, you'll find yourself doing it almost without thinking. Just like that, you've made a big change in your life (hello, healthier you!) by changing your habits. And there's another bonus. Habits help simplify our lives by cutting down on the number of decisions we have to make each day. Every habit we form is one less thing we have to think about, one less thing to drain our willpower. That leaves us with more mental energy to tackle the big stuff. So, if you're looking to make a change in your life, start with your habits. Understand their power and learn how to use it to your advantage. By tweaking our habits, we can make big changes in our lives with less effort and more success. It's all about working smarter, not harder.
02To make a habit stick, you gotta know what works for you
In "Better Than Before," Gretchen Rubin emphasizes the importance of knowing yourself when it comes to forming habits. She argues that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to habit formation. Instead, each of us needs to figure out what works best for us. Let's break it down. When we try to form a new habit, we're basically setting an expectation for ourselves. These expectations can come from outside, like meeting work deadlines or following the law, or from inside, like making sure we get enough sleep or sticking to a New Year's resolution. According to Rubin, we can divide our reactions to these expectations into four categories: upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels. Upholders are the folks who meet both internal and external expectations without much fuss. They hate letting themselves or others down. So, if an upholder decides to exercise every day, they're likely to stick to it because they don't want to disappoint themselves or anyone else who knows about their goal. Questioners, on the other hand, need to understand why before they commit to anything. They'll only start a daily exercise routine if they agree with the reasons behind its benefits. Obligers are great at meeting external expectations but struggle with internal ones. They need someone else to hold them accountable. So, an obliger might have a hard time sticking to a daily exercise routine unless they have a workout buddy or a personal trainer to keep them on track. Rebels, as the name suggests, resist all expectations, whether they come from inside or outside. They value their freedom and choice above everything else. A rebel will only exercise daily if they want to, not because they feel they should or because someone else expects them to. Knowing which category you fall into can help you figure out the best way to form habits. For example, an obliger might do well in a group fitness class where they feel accountable to the instructor and other participants, while a rebel might prefer a more flexible approach, like choosing a different type of workout each day. In a nutshell, Rubin's main point is that knowing yourself is key to forming habits. By understanding how we react to expectations, we can tailor our approach to creating new habits, making them more likely to stick and become a lasting part of our lives.
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03Keep an eye on your actions, it helps you understand yourself better
04Make a schedule, it takes the guesswork out of tasks and makes them routine
05Remember, your actions have consequences, so act wisely
06Just start already! The hardest part is often just getting started
07Conclusion
About Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin is an American author, speaker, and podcaster, known for her research on happiness and habit formation. She has written several best-selling books, including "The Happiness Project" and "Better Than Before". Rubin is a former lawyer and Yale Law School graduate.
