
Give and Take
Adam Grant
What's inside?
Explore the power of generosity in achieving success and how the act of giving can lead to unexpected personal and professional growth.
You'll learn
Key points
01People usually have a go-to behavior: giving, taking, or matching
In the world of human interaction, we can generally categorize people into three groups: takers, givers, and matchers. Of course, these labels aren't set in stone, and we can all switch between them depending on the situation. But, we usually have a go-to style that we lean on. Let's start with the takers. These folks are all about looking out for number one. They're the ones who are always trying to get the most out of every situation, even if it means stepping on a few toes along the way. Picture the office colleague who's always taking credit for the team's work or using others as stepping stones to climb the corporate ladder. Sure, they might get ahead in the short term, but this kind of behavior can damage relationships and tarnish their reputation over time. Then we have the givers. These are the people who are always putting others first. They're generous with their time, their resources, and their knowledge, often without expecting anything in return. Think of the mentor who's always ready to guide junior colleagues or the friend who's always sharing opportunities with others. While they might not always see immediate returns, their kindness and generosity can lead to long-term success. This is because they build trust, encourage teamwork, and spread goodwill, which are all valuable in any setting. Matchers are the middle ground. They operate on a give-and-take basis. If you help them, they'll help you. If you wrong them, they'll remember. They aim to keep things balanced, making sure they're neither giving too much nor taking too much. But remember, these labels aren't fixed. You might be a giver at work, always ready to lend a hand, but a taker at home, expecting your family to cater to your needs. And while being a giver can lead to success, it's important to remember to look after yourself too. Givers need to be aware of their own needs and set boundaries to stop others from taking advantage of their kindness. For example, if you're a giver negotiating a salary, you need to think about not just what the company needs, but also what you need financially and how it will impact your loved ones. In a nutshell, understanding these styles of interaction can help us navigate our relationships, both personal and professional, more effectively. By recognizing our own style and those of the people around us, we can adjust our behavior to get the best results. For example, if you're a giver dealing with a taker, you might want to switch to a matching approach to avoid being taken advantage of. And if you're a taker, you might find that adopting a more giving approach can help you build stronger, more sustainable relationships.
02Givers love helping others, they don't care about getting credit
In "Give and Take," we're introduced to a unique breed of people called 'givers.' These folks are more jazzed about helping others than they are about getting a pat on the back for their efforts. They're all about making a difference in other people's lives, and they get their kicks from seeing others thrive, not from personal praise. Let's take a look at a real-life example to get a better grip on this idea. Meet George Meyer, a writer who's won an Emmy for his work on the hit TV show "The Simpsons." Despite being a major player in the show's success, Meyer's name only appears in the credits for 12 of the over 300 episodes he had a hand in. Why? Because he was always pushing other writers to expand on his ideas, without demanding a shout-out for his contribution. Meyer wasn't chasing after personal glory. He was all about the success of the show. He wanted to create a team spirit where everyone could bring their A-game. This kind of selfless attitude is a classic trait of a giver. Here's another fun fact about Meyer. He's the guy who came up with the word "meh," a term we use when we're feeling blah or unimpressed. This word, first spoken by Bart on "The Simpsons," has since become part of our everyday lingo. But Meyer was so chill about personal fame that he totally forgot he was the one who invented it! This just goes to show that his focus was on the group win, not individual kudos. In a nutshell, givers like Meyer get their joy from the act of giving itself. They're more into the good they can do for others than the applause they get. Their main aim is to help others win, and they're happy to share their time, smarts, and resources to make that happen. They feel their efforts are worth it, even if they fly under the radar or don't get the credit. This selfless approach to success is what makes givers stand out from the crowd.

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03Matchers try to keep a balance between giving and taking
04Our community and interactions shape how much we give or take
05Takers lose out when they take more than needed
06Givers often rise to the top because they focus on growth
07Givers have big networks that are valuable to them and others
08Givers see and help grow potential in others
09The best kind of communication is the one where you don't dominate
10Givers can only succeed if they learn to handle abuse and exhaustion
11Conclusion
About Adam Grant
Adam Grant is an American psychologist and author, known for his work on organizational psychology. He is a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, specializing in motivation and generosity. Grant is recognized for his bestselling books, including "Give and Take."