I Wish I Could Say I Was Sorry
Susie Kelly
19 min
7 Key Points
4.5 RateWhat's inside?
Dive into a heartfelt memoir that explores the complexities of family relationships, personal growth, and the power of forgiveness, all set against the backdrop of 20th-century Kenya.
You'll learn
1. The magic of saying sorry and making up2. Family drama explained3. How society changes you4. The need for self-checks and growth5. Bouncing back from tough times6. Life lessons shape who you are.Key points
01Childhood in Colonial Kenya
Born in the heart of colonial Kenya, in the small town of Nyeri, Susie Kelly's childhood was a tapestry of thrilling escapades and harsh realities. As the daughter of British expatriates, her early years were marked by a unique blend of cultural experiences that shaped her worldview and influenced her later life. The vast African savannah served as her playground, where she interacted with the local Kikuyu tribe and observed the diverse wildlife. A family safari to the Maasai Mara, where she witnessed the Great Migration, was a pivotal moment in her life. This annual spectacle of millions of wildebeest, zebras, and gazelles traversing the plains in search of greener pastures instilled in her a deep love for nature and wildlife. This profound appreciation for the natural world would remain a constant in her life, influencing her future choices and passions. However, the idyllic picture of her childhood was marred by the political unrest that characterized colonial Kenya. The Mau Mau Uprising, a significant anti-colonial revolt by the Kikuyu people against British rule, cast a long shadow over her early years. The declaration of a state of emergency and the palpable racial tensions created an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. British families, including Susie's, lived in constant apprehension of attacks. A particularly harrowing incident that left an indelible mark on Susie was when her family's house was set ablaze by the Mau Mau rebels. Although they escaped unscathed, the incident was a stark reminder of the volatile political climate and the racial tensions that were an integral part of her childhood in colonial Kenya. In the late 1950s, as the situation in Kenya escalated, Susie's parents made the difficult decision to return to England. This marked the end of her childhood in Kenya, a period that was a paradoxical mix of joy and fear, adventure and danger. In conclusion, Susie Kelly's childhood in colonial Kenya was a formative period that shaped her life in profound ways. The thrilling adventures and the love for nature she developed during her early years contrasted sharply with the fear and uncertainty brought about by the political unrest. These experiences, both exhilarating and terrifying, played a significant role in molding her into the person she became in her adult life.
02The Harsh Reality of England
The transition from the warm, sun-soaked landscapes of Kenya to the cold, grey skies of England was a jarring experience that brought about a profound sense of displacement. The biting chill of the English winter was a stark contrast to the comforting heat of the Kenyan sun, a physical manifestation of the emotional coldness that the family felt in their new environment. This drastic change in climate served as a constant, chilling reminder of the distance between their current location and their beloved homeland. The rigid societal norms of England presented another challenge. The formalities and etiquette, so different from the laid-back, communal lifestyle in Kenya, felt stifling and restrictive. This was particularly evident in the incident where a young girl was reprimanded for addressing her teacher by their first name, a practice considered disrespectful in England but common and acceptable in Kenya. This incident highlighted the cultural differences and the struggle to adapt to a society with a different set of rules and expectations. The blandness of English cuisine was another stark departure from the rich, spicy flavors of Kenyan dishes. The longing for the taste of home-cooked meals was not just about missing the familiar flavors, but also about yearning for a sense of home and belonging. The unsuccessful attempts to recreate Kenyan dishes using English ingredients underscored the difficulty of replicating one's culture in a foreign land. The competitive nature and rigid structure of the English education system were a stark contrast to the more relaxed, holistic approach to education in Kenya. The pressure to perform acadically was overwhelming, adding to the feelings of displacement and alienation. The struggle to keep up with the fast-paced curriculum was not just about academic achievement, but also about trying to fit into a system that was vastly different from what they were used to. The stark contrast between life in Kenya and England led to feelings of displacement and longing for the familiarity of the old life. The warmth of the sun, the freedom of societal norms, the taste of home-cooked meals, and the ease of school life were not just missed, but deeply yearned for. The constant reminiscing about life in Kenya was a bittersweet reminder of what was left behind, a testament to the struggle of adapting to a new environment while holding on to one's cultural identity. In conclusion, the harsh reality of England was not just about the physical discomfort and the cultural differences, but also about the emotional struggle of feeling displaced and longing for a sense of home and belonging. The experience serves as a poignant reminder of the challenges that come with relocation and the resilience required to navigate through them.
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03Adolescence and Early Adulthood
04Marriage and Motherhood
05Return to Kenya
06Reflection and Reconciliation
07Conclusion
About Susie Kelly
Susie Kelly is a British author known for her travel memoirs, particularly about her experiences in France. Born in Sussex, England, she moved to Kenya at a young age before eventually settling in France. Her writing is characterized by humor, honesty, and a deep love for nature.