Love Worth Making

01Love and sex are two peas in a pod

In "Love Worth Making," Dr. Stephen Snyder makes a compelling case that sex and love are more intertwined than we often think. To really get this, we need to dive into the nuts and bolts of sexual arousal and the part emotional connection plays in it. Let's think about sexual excitement. It's not just a physical thing. It's a mix of physical touch and mental activity. Imagine it like a recipe with two main ingredients: "friction" and "fantasy." Friction is the physical part of sex, the touch and feel that gets our bodies going. But if you think back to your most unforgettable sexual moments, it's probably not the quality of friction that you remember most. That brings us to the second ingredient, fantasy. During sex, our minds often drift into the world of fantasy, pulling from our stockpile of memories, dreams, and desires to make the experience even better. But, sexual fantasy alone isn't enough to create a truly satisfying sexual experience. This is where the link between sex and love comes in. There's a hidden layer in sexual experiences, a space that sits between the physical and the fantastical. This is where sex becomes a way of deeply connecting with another person, and with our own inner selves. It's a part of sex that we don't often talk about, but it's key to the experience. This layer of sex can't be bought or sold. It's not something you can put a price tag on. Instead, it's a gift, a deep emotional experience that goes beyond just desire or lust. The emotion that comes with this deep connection is one of gratitude and awe. It's a warm, fulfilling feeling that makes the sexual experience truly special. To nurture this connection, it's important to understand what conditions allow it to grow. This means exploring your sexual desires and learning how to use them to enhance your connection with your partner. By doing this, you can seriously up your sex game. In a nutshell, the book suggests that sex isn't just a physical act or a mental fantasy. It's a deeply emotional experience that can strengthen the bond between partners, making it an expression of love. This understanding can change the way you approach sex, making it a more fulfilling and meaningful part of your relationship.