Middle School Superpowers

02How to foster resilience in your tweens?

The tween years can be a rollercoaster ride, filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. It's a time of change, growth, and discovery, but it can also be a time of uncertainty and stress. As parents, we want to equip our tweens with the tools they need to navigate these turbulent times with confidence and resilience. But how do we do that? Let's dive into some key strategies from Phyllis L. Fagell's book "Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times". First up, let's talk about the growth mindset. This is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. It's about praising effort over innate talent, promoting perseverance, and teaching tweens to view setbacks as opportunities for growth. For instance, if your tween gets a low grade on a math test, instead of saying, "Maybe math just isn't your thing," you might say, "I can see you're disappointed with your grade. What's one thing you think you could do differently next time?" This approach encourages tweens to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as insurmountable obstacles. Next, we have problem-solving skills. These are the abilities to understand a problem, brainstorm possible solutions, evaluate the pros and cons of each solution, and implement and review the chosen solution. For example, if your tween is having trouble with a bully at school, you might guide them through these steps to come up with a plan of action. These skills are crucial for future independence, as they enable tweens to tackle problems head-on and make informed decisions. Healthy coping mechanisms are another key component of resilience. These are strategies that tweens can use to manage stress and emotions. They might include physical activities like sports or dance, creative outlets like drawing or writing, mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, and social connections with friends and family. For instance, if your tween is feeling stressed about a big test, they might find it helpful to go for a run, draw in their sketchbook, practice some deep breathing exercises, or talk it out with a friend. Finally, we come to the role of failure and adversity. These experiences, while often difficult and painful, are important for building resilience. They teach tweens that it's okay to make mistakes, that failure is a part of life, and that they can learn and grow from these experiences. As parents, we can help our tweens cope with failure and adversity by allowing them to experience these things in a safe environment and helping them view these experiences as opportunities for learning and growth. In conclusion, fostering resilience in our tweens is not about shielding them from the challenges of life, but about equipping them with the tools they need to face these challenges head-on. It's about teaching them to embrace a growth mindset, to develop problem-solving skills, to utilize healthy coping mechanisms, and to see failure and adversity as opportunities for growth. So, let's roll up our sleeves and get to work. After all, our tweens are counting on us.

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