Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It
Shad Helmstetter
17 min
7 Key Points
4.6 RateWhat's inside?
Explore strategies to overcome negative thinking patterns and transform your life through positive self-talk and affirmations.
You'll learn
1. Ditching the negative chatter in your head2. Swapping bad thoughts for good vibes3. The link between negative talk and mental health4. Building a better you5. Boosting your self-esteem and confidence6. Getting a brighter outlook on life and growth.Key points
01Negative self-talk is when you're always hard on yourself, which can lead to failure
Negative self-talk, as explained by Shad Helmstetter, is a way of thinking or speaking that's more about seeing the glass half empty rather than half full. It's when you let your worries and doubts take the driver's seat, instead of your abilities and strengths. If you're always zeroing in on your flaws and mistakes, rather than your good points and wins, you're stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk. You can spot negative self-talk a mile away, because it's always tied to a 'woe is me' attitude and a forecast of doom and gloom. You might hear things like: “Life stinks!” “I don't have what it takes.” “I'm not a creative person.” “This isn't for me.” “Nothing ever goes right for me.” “Today's just not my day.” These are all classic examples of negative self-talk that Helmstetter talks about. What's key to remember is that our brains are like sponges, soaking up our thoughts and words. If you're always thinking or saying negative things, your brain takes note and records these thoughts. If you keep repeating these negative phrases, your brain starts to believe them as fact. Once your brain sees these negative thoughts as the truth, they become your truth, even if they weren't true to start with. So, negative self-talk isn't just a harmless quirk. It's a self-sabotaging mindset that sets you up for a fall. When you get caught up in negative self-talk, whether you mean to or not, you're basically telling your brain to fail. And your brain, being the good soldier that it is, will follow the orders it's been given. But here's the silver lining: being negative isn't something you're born with. Nobody comes into the world with a negative mindset. It's something you learn, often from tough times, feeling down, or feeling anxious. Helmstetter goes into more detail about where negative self-talk comes from and gives advice on how to shift our thinking towards the positive. By understanding how harmful negative self-talk is and learning how to swap it out for positive affirmations, we can rewire our brains for success and happiness. This is the main message of Helmstetter's work and a key idea for anyone looking to boost their mental and emotional health.
02How we were raised can really shape how we see the world
Let's paint a picture to help us understand this concept better. Picture two twins, born at the exact same moment, in the same hospital, to the same parents. They're identical in every way, from how they look to their DNA. When they're born, they're like blank canvases, full of endless possibilities and without any preconceived ideas about the world. The moment they leave the hospital, their life's programming starts. This programming is shaped by everything around them - their parents, their surroundings, the TV shows they watch, their teachers, and their friends. Every interaction, every word spoken to them, every experience they go through, adds to this programming. For example, if they grow up in a positive, loving environment, they'll hear the word "No," or be told what they can't do, or what won't work for them, about 148,000 times by the time they turn 18. This is a low estimate, and the actual number could be much higher. On top of these negative messages, they'll also receive thousands of other messages that shape their beliefs about themselves and the world around them. These messages and experiences are soaked up by the brain and form the foundation of the child's self-image and view of the world. If a child is told over and over again that they're smart and capable, they'll grow up believing that they can achieve anything they put their mind to. On the other hand, if a child is constantly criticized and told they're not good enough, they'll grow up with a negative self-image and a belief that they can't succeed. Fast forward 35 years, and the twins are now adults. One of them is doing really well, while the other is having a hard time in life. Even though they have the same DNA and were born with the same potential, their lives have taken very different paths. The difference lies in their programming - the beliefs, attitudes, and self-images that were formed during their early years. The twin who's doing well was programmed to believe in their abilities and to see challenges as chances to grow. The twin who's struggling was programmed to doubt their abilities and to see challenges as huge hurdles that can't be overcome. The point here is that we're all born with the potential to do well. But, our upbringing and the messages we get during our early years play a big role in deciding whether we reach this potential or not. If we grow up with negative programming, it can hold us back and stop us from reaching our full potential. But here's the good news - this programming isn't permanent. We have the power to change our self-talk and reprogram our brains with positive, uplifting messages. By doing this, we can overcome the negative programming from our past and set ourselves up for a successful and fulfilling future.
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Full summary is waiting for you in the app
03Negative self-talk can get worse over time if not addressed
04What you tell yourself about yourself becomes your reality
05Being mindful can help you switch from negative to positive self-talk
06Choosing to change your self-talk is one of the best decisions you can make
07Conclusion
About Shad Helmstetter
Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., is a renowned behavioral researcher and bestselling author, specializing in the field of self-talk. He has pioneered self-help techniques, focusing on the impact of self-talk on self-esteem, motivation, and personal change. His work has influenced millions worldwide.
