No Longer Human

02A Friendship Built On Mutual Destruction

As we navigate the tricky transition from childhood into the turbulent years of adolescence, the social masks we wear usually become more sophisticated, but for Oba Yozo, the stakes of his performance become dangerously high. Moving away from the insulated environment of his wealthy family home to attend middle school in a new town, Yozo brings his meticulously crafted clown persona with him. He is the class favorite, the boy who deliberately writes terrible, hilarious essays and performs ridiculous physical comedy to keep his classmates and teachers entertained. He is completely exhausted by the constant performance, but it works—everyone thinks he is just a delightful, eccentric boy. Everyone, that is, except for a quiet, socially awkward, and physically clumsy classmate named Takeichi. The moment Takeichi enters the narrative, the entire foundation of Yozo’s world is shaken to its core. One day, during a physical education class, Yozo performs one of his signature stunts, intentionally tripping and falling in a comical manner to elicit roaring laughter from the other boys. It is a flawless execution of his clowning routine. But as he dusts himself off, Takeichi approaches him, looks him dead in the eye, and whispers a phrase that chills Yozo to the bone: "You did it on purpose." Those five words strike Yozo like a physical blow. The absolute terror that washes over him is difficult to overstate. For his entire life, Yozo has survived by convincing the terrifying human race that he is just a harmless, foolish clown. Now, this seemingly insignificant boy has effortlessly pierced through his armor and seen the calculated deception beneath. Yozo is suddenly gripped by the horrifying realization that if Takeichi knows, others might find out, and his true, empty, alien nature will be exposed to the world. Driven by pure panic and the primal need to protect his secret, Yozo immediately shifts his strategy. He realizes he cannot run from Takeichi; he must neutralize the threat by bringing him close. What follows is a tragic and manipulative courtship. Yozo goes out of his way to befriend Takeichi, showering him with attention, offering him gifts, and feigning a deep, genuine interest in the boy's life. He turns on the full force of his charm, not out of any real affection, but entirely to ensure that Takeichi never reveals his secret. It is a dark, twisted friendship born entirely out of fear and self-preservation. Interestingly, it is through Takeichi that Yozo is introduced to the concept of the "goblin" in art—the idea that some artists see the terrifying, monstrous truth of the world and paint it not to frighten, but to express their own inner torment. For a brief moment, Yozo feels a sense of kinship with these artists, recognizing his own hidden monstrosity in their dark, swirling canvases. But he keeps these dark drawings hidden, terrified that showing them would blow his cover. As Yozo transitions into high school in Tokyo, his world expands, and so do his methods of escape. The innocent, albeit exhausting, clowning of his youth morphs into a much darker rebellion when he meets a man who will become his guide into the underworld: Horiki. Horiki is an older art student, a cynical, fast-talking, and thoroughly unprincipled individual who navigates the gritty underbelly of Tokyo with ease. Unlike Yozo, who is paralyzed by his fear of society, Horiki thrives in its darker corners. He is selfish, manipulative, and entirely devoid of the deep existential dread that consumes Yozo. Yet, for Yozo, Horiki represents a twisted kind of salvation. Through Horiki, Yozo is introduced to a holy trinity of vices that will temporarily numb his agonizing social anxiety: alcohol, cigarettes, and prostitutes. Let’s pause and look at why these specific vices become so crucial to Yozo’s survival. For a man who finds the daily interactions of normal human beings to be an unbearable, terrifying performance, the world of vice offers a bizarre sanctuary. Alcohol blurs the sharp, frightening edges of reality, allowing his exhausted mind to finally rest, if only for a few hours. Cigarettes give him something to do with his hands, a socially acceptable way to pause and hide his nervousness. But it is his relationship with prostitutes that is the most profoundly heartbreaking. Yozo does not seek out these women for mere physical gratification. He seeks them out because, in his eyes, they are the outcasts of society, the "idiot margins" of the human race. When he is with them, he doesn't have to perform. He doesn't have to be the funny clown, the dutiful son, or the diligent student. These women are entirely removed from the rigid, judgmental hierarchy of respectable society that terrifies him so much. In their dimly lit rooms, surrounded by the scent of cheap perfume and the haze of alcohol, Yozo finds the only fleeting moments of genuine peace he has ever known. They ask nothing of him emotionally, and for a man completely bankrupt of emotional understanding, this is the ultimate comfort. However, this friendship with Horiki is built on a foundation of mutual destruction. Horiki uses Yozo for his family's money, happy to drink and smoke on the dime of the wealthy young student. Yozo, in turn, uses Horiki as a shield and a guide, a way to navigate a world he is too cowardly to face alone. They are two lost souls dragging each other further down into the abyss. Yozo’s academic life begins to crumble. He skips classes, squanders his generous allowance on booze and women, and slowly begins to sever the ties with his respectable family. The clown mask is no longer just a performance to make people laugh; it has become a grotesque caricature of a young man spiraling out of control. The tragedy of this chapter in his life is that Yozo knows exactly what he is doing. He is highly intelligent, acutely aware of his own degradation, yet completely powerless to stop it. He believes that because he is fundamentally flawed, because he is not a "true" human being, he is destined for the gutter. The descent is not a mistake; in his mind, it is a dark, inevitable homecoming.

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