Present Over Perfect
Shauna Niequist
15 min
6 Key Points
4.3 RateWhat's inside?
Explore a journey from frantic and stressed living to a more balanced, peaceful lifestyle. Discover the joy of being present and embracing imperfection in your life.
You'll learn
1. Putting your health before perfection2. Easy ways to de-stress and simplify3. Enjoying the here and now4. Living a soulful, satisfying life5. Embracing the unknown, letting go of control6. The power of saying 'no' for balance.Key points
01We often stick to bad situations until they're unbearable. We need to be more open to change
We humans are a stubborn lot, aren't we? We often stick to our guns, even when it's clear that change is needed. It's like we're in a boat that's slowly filling with water. Instead of jumping out or calling for help, we keep bailing out the water, convinced we can handle it. We keep at it, even as the water rises, until it's up to our necks and we're about to go under. Only then do we think about leaving the boat. This is how we often deal with life's challenges. We stick with what we know, even if it's hurting us, until we're pushed to the brink. Shauna Niequist talks about this as a "sea-change". It's a shift from one state of being to another, often sparked by a tough, unmanageable situation. We're forced to change, to adapt, just to keep our heads above water. For some folks, change comes easy. But for many of us, it's a battle. We find ourselves in sticky situations, yet we tell ourselves that things will improve or that they can't possibly get worse. We fight against change, choosing to stay on a familiar path, even if it's doing us harm. We often turn a blind eye to the red flags that something's not right. We keep going down a harmful path until we're cornered, faced with a do-or-die situation. It's only then that we think about change. This fear of change, this resistance to adapt, can often lead to disastrous outcomes. Take an abusive relationship, for example. The person being abused often stays, telling themselves that their partner will change or that the abuse isn't as bad as it seems. They overlook the danger signs until the situation becomes unbearable, often with heartbreaking results. The same goes for people in toxic work environments. They put up with the stress and negativity until it starts affecting their health, forcing them to finally seek change. Or think about an old car that's always breaking down. The owner keeps fixing it, ignoring the signs that it's time for a new car, until one day it conks out in the middle of nowhere, leaving them stranded. The bottom line is, we humans can adapt, just like any other creature. But our stubbornness often slows us down. We hold on to what's familiar, even if it's harmful, until we're forced to change. This resistance to change, this reluctance to adapt until it's almost too late, is a key point that Niequist makes. It's a wake-up call to be more aware, to be more open to change, and to choose a simpler, more meaningful way of life.
02We're always busy and rarely rest. It's important to take real breaks
Imagine this: you're a high-powered executive, working long hours at the office. When you finally get home, you don't really switch off. You're still checking emails, planning meetings, strategizing for the next day. You're sitting on your comfy couch, in your cozy home, wearing your favorite loungewear, sipping a cup of hot tea. You tell yourself you're relaxing because you're not at the office, but your mind is still buzzing with work. Sound familiar? This is the trap many of us fall into. We're caught in a cycle of constant work, even when we think we're resting. This leads to a state of chronic fatigue and frustration. Take the author's own experience. She's a busy mom and wife with a hectic travel schedule. To make up for her absences, she takes on a ton of responsibilities at home. She's always on the go, managing every aspect of her household, from grocery shopping and ordering Christmas presents to booking doctor's appointments and tidying closets. She'd dress in comfy clothes and move around the house, doing various tasks, all the while convincing herself that she was resting. She'd sit at her computer, working on different projects, telling herself that she was relaxed because she was at home, in her comfort zone. But this was a form of 'fake resting'. Despite her attempts to convince herself otherwise, she was still working, and this led to real fatigue and frustration. The problem with this kind of 'fake resting' is that it doesn't give our bodies and minds the break they need. When we overwork ourselves, we put a strain on our physical and mental health. This can lead to burnout, a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion that can have serious consequences for our wellbeing. The author argues that part of being a grown-up is taking responsibility for our own wellbeing. This means recognizing when we need to rest and giving ourselves permission to do so. It's about understanding that rest is not a luxury, but a necessity for our health and happiness. The author also points out that this issue is particularly prevalent among women. Many women feel the need to take care of everyone else before they take care of themselves. They strive to appear low maintenance and flexible, often at the expense of their own needs. But the author argues that it's not selfish or 'diva-ish' to prioritize your own wellbeing. On the contrary, it's a sign of self-respect and self-care. In conclusion, the author's message is a call to action for us to recognize the importance of genuine rest and to prioritize our own wellbeing. It's a reminder that we can't pour from an empty cup, and that taking care of ourselves is the first step towards living a more balanced and fulfilling life.
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03We fill our lives with busyness to avoid feeling empty. We should confront our feelings instead
04Change is tough and it's okay to ask for help. You're not alone in this
05You don't have to be perfect. Do your best and enjoy the present
06Conclusion
About Shauna Niequist
Shauna Niequist is a New York Times bestselling author known for her spiritual and self-help books. She is a public speaker and a book club host. Niequist's work focuses on personal growth, faith, and family. She is the daughter of Bill Hybels, the founder of Willow Creek Community Church.
