Sacred Marriage

01What's marriage really about?

What if we've been looking at marriage all wrong? What if it's not about the romantic dinners, the shared laughter, or even the personal happiness we often associate with it? What if, instead, it's about something deeper, something more profound? This is the unconventional perspective presented in Gary Thomas's book "Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?" We often view marriage as a source of personal happiness and fulfillment. We expect our partners to meet our needs, to make us feel loved and valued, and to provide us with a sense of security and belonging. But what if this belief is misguided? What if it's like expecting a hammer to act like a screwdriver? Sure, you might be able to pound a screw into a piece of wood with a hammer, but it's not the tool's primary purpose and it's not going to be as effective as using a screwdriver. According to Thomas, the primary purpose of marriage isn't to make us happy, but to make us holy. This perspective shifts the focus of marriage from personal satisfaction to spiritual growth and transformation. It's like looking at a mountain not as a beautiful landscape to admire, but as a challenging terrain to conquer. The journey might be tough, but the reward is a stronger, more resilient self. In this light, marriage becomes a spiritual discipline designed to help us know God better, trust him more fully, and love him more deeply. It's a journey of spiritual growth and transformation, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly. The process might be painful and uncomfortable, but the end result is a beautiful, transformed creature. Thomas argues that marriage is a tool that God uses to make us holy. The challenges and difficulties we face in marriage - the disagreements, the misunderstandings, the disappointments - are not obstacles to our happiness, but opportunities for our spiritual growth. They are the chisel that God uses to chip away at our selfishness, pride, and impatience, shaping us into the image of Christ. For instance, consider the story of a couple in the book who struggled with infertility. Instead of allowing this challenge to drive them apart, they used it as an opportunity to grow in their faith and trust in God. Their marriage didn't make them happy in the way they had initially expected, but it made them holy. So, what if marriage isn't about making us happy, but making us holy? What if it's not about getting what we want, but about becoming who we're meant to be? This perspective might challenge our conventional beliefs about marriage, but it also opens up a new, deeper understanding of its purpose and potential. It invites us to view marriage not as a source of personal satisfaction, but as a journey of spiritual transformation. And in the end, isn't that a more fulfilling and meaningful purpose?