Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered

01Ditch politeness when you're in danger, but don't beat yourself up if you freeze up

Hey there, let's chat about something important, something that Karen and Georgia, the authors of this book, are really passionate about. It's all about putting your safety first, even if it means breaking some social norms. You see, being polite is great and all, but sometimes, it can be used against us. Some people, the not-so-nice ones, can take advantage of our good manners and cross boundaries. Georgia has a story that perfectly illustrates this. Once upon a time, she was at a bar, and this guy kept insisting on buying her a shot. Now, Georgia isn't a heavyweight when it comes to alcohol, but this guy just wouldn't take no for an answer. So, what did she do? She took the shot and dumped it on the floor. Not exactly Miss Manners, but hey, it got the point across. But let's be real, it's not always easy to stand up for ourselves, especially when we're unsure or feel pressured. Georgia has another story about this. After moving to LA, she met a photographer named Lawrence at the restaurant where she worked. He wanted to take her pictures, and she agreed, flattered by the attention. But when he suggested they go to a remote location in the Santa Monica mountains for the shoot, her gut started sending out warning signals. But she didn't want to let him down, so she went along with it. Even when he asked her to take off her shirt, she did it, despite feeling uncomfortable. Thankfully, Lawrence didn't hurt her, but the whole experience left her feeling guilty and ashamed for not standing up for herself. She blamed herself, which is something a lot of people do when they find themselves in similar situations. But here's the thing, through therapy, Georgia realized that standing up for yourself is a skill that needs to be practiced. And if you don't get it right the first time, it doesn't mean you're to blame. It's not your fault if someone else crosses the line. So, the takeaway here is to trust your gut and put your safety first, even if it means being seen as rude. And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you didn't stand up for yourself, don't beat yourself up. It's a part of being human and a step towards learning how to advocate for yourself.