The Awakened Family
Shefali Tsabary Ph.D.
22 min
7 Key Points
5 RateWhat's inside?
Discover insightful strategies and approaches to parenting that foster empowerment, resilience, and mindfulness in your children.
You'll learn
1. How to bond big time with your kids2. Letting your kids be themselves3. Making your kids tough for life's ups and downs4. What's conscious parenting and how to do it5. Ditching old-school parenting that doesn't work6. Creating a home that helps your family grow and thrive.Key points
01What's awakened parenting all about?
Ever found yourself in a tug-of-war with your child over bedtime, homework, or screen time? You're not alone. Many parents resort to traditional methods of discipline, such as rewards, punishments, and strict rules, to manage their children's behavior. However, these methods often lead to power struggles, resentment, and a lack of genuine connection between parent and child. Enter 'awakened parenting', a concept introduced by Shefali Tsabary in her book "The Awakened Family". This approach turns traditional parenting on its head, focusing less on controlling children's behavior and more on understanding their emotional needs and fostering their individuality. Traditional parenting often operates under the assumption that children need to be 'molded' into socially acceptable beings. This approach, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently suppress a child's unique personality and potential. For instance, in the book, Tsabary shares the story of a boy who was constantly scolded for his energetic nature. His parents' attempts to 'tame' him only resulted in frustration and low self-esteem. Awakened parenting, on the other hand, encourages parents to see their children as they truly are, not as they want them to be. It's like switching from a one-size-fits-all coat to a tailor-made one that fits perfectly. This approach fosters a deeper connection between parent and child, promotes the child's self-esteem, and reduces power struggles. Central to awakened parenting are the concepts of self-awareness and mindfulness. Self-awareness involves recognizing our own emotional triggers and patterns, while mindfulness involves being fully present in our interactions with our children. These qualities allow us to respond to our children's needs in a more thoughtful and empathetic manner. For example, Tsabary recounts the story of a mother who would often lose her temper when her daughter refused to do her homework. After practicing self-awareness and mindfulness, the mother realized that her anger stemmed from her own fears of being perceived as a 'bad parent'. This insight allowed her to approach the situation more calmly and effectively. The journey to awakened parenting is not a quick fix, but a transformative process. The rest of Tsabary's book delves deeper into this concept, exploring topics such as the role of ego in parenting, the importance of setting boundaries, and the power of conscious communication. In conclusion, awakened parenting offers a refreshing alternative to traditional parenting methods. It encourages us to shift our focus from controlling our children's behavior to understanding their emotional needs and fostering their individuality. By practicing self-awareness and mindfulness, we can enhance our interactions with our children and foster a deeper, more meaningful connection with them. So, why not give it a try? Your family might just thank you for it.
02The Role of Parents in an Awakened Family
Ever wondered why your child throws a tantrum when they don't get their way? Or why they seem to mimic your habits, both good and bad? The answer lies in the mirror effect, a concept explored in Shefali Tsabary's book, "The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children". This concept suggests that children often reflect their parents' emotions and reactions. Think of parenting like driving a car. You can either drive consciously, aware of your surroundings and making deliberate decisions, or you can drive on autopilot, reacting to situations without much thought. Conscious parenting is like the former, where parents are mindful of their emotions and reactions, understanding that these will be mirrored by their children. To become more mindful, parents can practice techniques such as meditation or journaling to gain a better understanding of their emotional triggers. They can also make a conscious effort to respond rather than react to their children's behavior, taking a moment to calm down before addressing the situation. However, conscious parenting isn't just about managing emotions. It also involves letting go of ego and expectations. Parents often project their desires and ambitions onto their children, expecting them to fulfill their unmet dreams. For instance, a parent who wanted to be a musician but couldn't might push their child to pursue a career in music, regardless of the child's interests. This can lead to resentment and a lack of self-identity in the child. To avoid this, parents can strive to understand their children's passions and interests, allowing them to explore different paths. This doesn't mean parents should completely relinquish control, but rather guide their children towards making informed decisions. Parenting from a place of love and understanding is another key aspect of an awakened family. Imagine a scenario where a child comes home upset after failing a test. A parent might instinctively scold the child for not studying enough. But an awakened parent would try to understand the child's feelings, offering comfort and discussing how they can improve next time. Cultivating love and understanding can be as simple as spending quality time with your children, actively listening to them, and validating their feelings. It's about showing compassion and empathy, even when it's challenging. In an awakened family, parents play a multifaceted role. They are caregivers, providing for their children's basic needs; role models, setting an example through their actions; and guides, helping their children navigate life's challenges. Parents have the power to shape their children's attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, and it's a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. To be the best role models, parents can strive to embody the values they want their children to adopt. This might involve demonstrating kindness, honesty, and resilience in their daily lives. It's also important for parents to acknowledge their mistakes and show their children that it's okay to be imperfect. In conclusion, being an awakened parent involves conscious parenting, letting go of ego and expectations, and parenting from a place of love and understanding. It's about taking on the role of a caregiver, role model, and guide, and using this power to positively shape your children's lives. So, take a moment to reflect on your parenting style. Are you ready to awaken?
03How to raise empowered children?
04How to Foster Resilience in Children
05How to cultivate consciousness in children?
06Journey towards becoming an awakened family: A guide for parents
07Conclusion
About Shefali Tsabary Ph.D.
Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and international speaker, specializing in family dynamics and personal development. Known for integrating Eastern philosophy and Western psychology, her approach focuses on conscious parenting and mindful living. She's a frequent guest on Oprah's SuperSoul Sunday and has authored several books.