The Collapse of Parenting

01The Collapse of Traditional Parenting: A Shift in Authority

Ever noticed how the dynamics of parenting have changed over the years? It's like we've moved from a monarchy, where parents were the ultimate decision-makers, to a democracy, where children are treated as equals and their opinions are given equal weight. In the good old days, parents were the king and queen of their family kingdom. They made the rules, set the boundaries, and their word was law. This traditional parenting structure had its benefits. It provided clear lines of authority, instilled discipline, and taught children to respect authority. But then, something changed. Parents started treating their children as equals, negotiating with them, and seeking their approval. It's as if the monarchy was overthrown and replaced with a democracy. But unlike in a political system, this shift in the family structure has had some unintended consequences. In his book "The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups", Leonard Sax presents a case study of a family where this shift in parental authority has led to a collapse of the traditional parenting structure. The parents, in their attempt to be 'friends' with their children, have lost their authority. The children, in turn, have lost their respect for their parents and the discipline that comes with it. Sax argues that this shift in parenting style has led to a lack of discipline and respect for authority. When children are treated as equals, they begin to believe that they have the same level of knowledge and wisdom as their parents. This undermines the parents' authority and can lead to a lack of discipline. In another case study, Sax illustrates this lack of discipline and respect for authority. A teenager, treated as an equal by his parents, refuses to follow their rules and shows no respect for their authority. His behavior escalates to the point where he is expelled from school and ends up in legal trouble. But the consequences of this shift in parenting style don't stop at a lack of discipline and respect for authority. Sax warns of the long-term negative effects on a child's development, behavior, and future. Without clear authority figures, children can struggle to develop a sense of responsibility, self-discipline, and respect for others. In a final case study, Sax illustrates these long-term negative effects. A young adult, raised in a democratic family structure, struggles to hold down a job, maintain relationships, and make responsible decisions. His lack of respect for authority and lack of self-discipline, instilled in him by his parents' democratic parenting style, have had a profound impact on his life. So, what does the future hold for parenting? Will we continue down this path of democratic parenting, or will we see a return to the traditional parenting structure? And what will be the consequences of this shift in authority for our children and their future?