The Happiness Trap

01The 'happiness trap' is thinking we should always be happy. Learn to spot it and escape it

Russ Harris has a unique take on happiness. He believes that our constant chase for joy often lands us in a trap. This trap, he says, is where we focus more on dodging discomfort and pain, rather than living a life that's truly fulfilling. This is what he calls the "happiness trap." Let's break it down with a simple analogy. Picture happiness as a butterfly. The more you run after it, the more it seems to flutter away. But if you sit still, doing things you love, the butterfly (or happiness) might just come and settle on your shoulder. This is the crux of the happiness trap - the harder we try to catch happiness, the more it seems to slip away. Harris points out that despite living in a world with more comforts and conveniences than ever before, we're not necessarily happier. We have top-notch healthcare, plenty of food, better housing, and easy access to education and entertainment. Yet, in spite of all these perks, many of us are still not content. This odd situation, he says, is due to the happiness trap. Harris introduces a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a way to break free from this trap. ACT is a type of therapy that encourages us to accept our thoughts and feelings, rather than trying to get rid of or control them. It promotes mindfulness and living according to our values as the real path to happiness. According to Harris, happiness isn't just about feeling great all the time. It's about living a life that's rich, full, and meaningful. This means doing things that align with our deepest values, even if those actions sometimes lead to uncomfortable feelings like sadness, fear, or anger. These feelings are a normal part of life and shouldn't be avoided. For example, think about someone who values their family above everything else. They might feel stressed and worried about their loved ones, but these feelings are a natural result of deeply caring about their family. By accepting these feelings, they can continue to act on their values and live a life that's meaningful. Harris also recognizes the unavoidable pain that comes with life. We all have to deal with aging, sickness, and death. However, he suggests that we can learn to handle this pain better, not by running away from it, but by making space for it and rising above it. This approach allows us to create a life worth living, despite the inevitable challenges and discomforts. In a nutshell, Harris teaches us that real happiness isn't about dodging discomfort but about living a life that aligns with our deepest values. He encourages us to accept our feelings, both comfortable and uncomfortable, and to take actions that bring meaning and fulfillment to our lives. This, he says, is the secret to breaking free from the happiness trap.