Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again
Katherine Angel, Ph.D.
17 min
7 Key Points
4.2 RateWhat's inside?
Explore the complex dynamics of female desire, consent, and sexuality in the modern age, and understand how societal norms and expectations shape these aspects.
You'll learn
1. Understanding what women really want2. How society shapes women's sex lives3. Talking and understanding in the bedroom4. The #MeToo effect on women's sexual freedom5. Power play in the bedroom6. Tips for a healthy and consensual sex life.Key points
01How can bias mess things up?
In "Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again," Katherine Angel delves into the tricky terrain of social bias, especially when it comes to sexual relationships and consent. She makes a compelling case that these biases can lead to dangerous situations, a point that needs a bit of unpacking to fully grasp. So, what's social bias? It's basically the preconceived ideas and stereotypes that society has about certain groups of people. Here, Angel is talking about the biases around women's sexual desires. The common bias is that women are often unsure about what they want, and that men somehow know better. This bias is not just wrong, but it's also harmful, as it can lead to situations where a woman's clear 'no' is misunderstood or ignored. Let's paint a picture to make this clearer. Imagine a woman and a man in a romantic setting. The woman, feeling uneasy, says she wants to stop. But the man, influenced by the bias that women are often unsure, misreads her words. He thinks her body language is saying 'yes,' even when her words are saying 'no.' This can quickly turn into a non-consensual situation, which is a form of sexual assault. This scenario shows the dangerous consequences of social bias. It underlines the importance of clear communication and consent in sexual relationships. It also stresses the need to challenge and change these damaging social biases. In the wake of the Me-Too movement, these issues have been thrust into the spotlight. People are more willing to question popular beliefs and stand up against injustices. Angel argues that it's crucial to use this momentum to educate both men and women about their sexualities. By doing this, we can start to break down the harmful narrative of social bias. In a nutshell, Angel's book delves into the complex relationship between social bias, sexual desire, and consent. She argues that the common social bias around women's sexual desires can lead to dangerous situations, including sexual assault. To prevent this, Angel champions clear communication, mutual consent, and a societal shift away from harmful biases.
02Can a woman change her mind?
Let's talk about a tricky topic: women's sexual autonomy. It's a complex issue, tangled up in societal pressures and expectations. One of the key ideas to grasp is that a woman's choice is never set in stone. Sounds a bit puzzling, right? But it's pretty straightforward. It means that a woman's consent, especially in sexual matters, isn't a one-off, unchangeable decision. It's a process that can shift and change at any moment. To get a handle on this, let's look at the pressures women face. Women are often told to be open about their sexual desires. But this openness can be a double-edged sword. If a woman is clear about what she wants, she's expected to stick to it, as if her desires are carved in stone. But if she changes her mind or has second thoughts, she's often met with disbelief or criticism. Imagine a woman using a dating app like Tinder. She's upfront about wanting casual sex. But if she later becomes a victim of sexual assault, her previous consent can be used against her in court. The defense might argue that her earlier consent means she's always up for it, which undermines her case. This shows how a woman's choice is often manipulated to fit societal biases and legal loopholes. The book also points out the racial disparities in how women's choices are viewed. During the #MeToo movement, the experiences of white women were often given more weight than those of Black women. This bias is based on harmful stereotypes that paint Black women as less innocent and more sexually experienced, which downplays their experiences. The book also talks about the dangerous consequences women can face when they say no to sex. This can provoke violence in men, leading to physical harm or even death. But if a woman says yes, she might face judgment and criticism. This puts women in a terrifying position, where their choices can lead to physical danger or societal condemnation. In a nutshell, the idea that a woman's choice is never final highlights the ongoing battle for women to have control over their bodies and desires in a society that often undermines their decisions. It underlines the need for a change in how society views women's choices, seeing them as fluid and changeable, not fixed and unchangeable.
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03Is saying no harder in a long-term relationship?
04Do guys feel pressured about sex?
05Why is female pleasure a taboo?
06Can knowing yourself keep you safe?
07Conclusion
About Katherine Angel, Ph.D.
Katherine Angel, Ph.D., is a British feminist writer and academic. She is a postdoctoral fellow at the London School of Economics' Forum for European Philosophy and has previously taught at Queen Mary University of London. Her work explores issues of sexuality, consent, and feminist theory.
