Women Don't Ask
Linda Babcock, Ph.D., Sara Laschever
26 min
9 Key Points
4.3 RateWhat's inside?
Explore the reasons behind why women often hesitate to negotiate and learn practical strategies to overcome this gender divide and boost your bargaining power.
You'll learn
1. Why don't women negotiate more often?2. Top tips for women to boss negotiations.3. Gender differences in negotiation - what's the deal?4. Boosting your confidence for negotiations.5. Why negotiation is key for career growth and equality.6. Real-life stories of women who nailed negotiations.Key points
01Women need to step up their negotiation game
Let's talk about a problem that's been hiding in plain sight. It's about women, negotiation, and the gap that exists between the genders. It's a problem that's been affecting women's lives, especially in the workplace. Let's start with a story. Linda Babcock, a director of a Ph.D. program, noticed something odd. The guys in her program were often teaching their own classes, while the girls were mostly helping out as teaching assistants. She dug a little deeper and found out that the guys were simply asking for these opportunities more often than the girls. This got Linda thinking, and she decided to do a study on students who had just graduated with their Master’s degree from Carnegie Mellon University. The results were shocking. The guys were starting their careers with salaries that were, on average, 7.6% or nearly $40,000 higher than the girls. And here's the kicker: only 7% of the girls had tried to negotiate their salaries, compared to 57% of the guys. So, what's going on here? Why are guys more likely to negotiate than girls? The answer might lie in something called the social role theory. This theory suggests that girls are brought up to be passive and compliant, while guys are taught to be assertive and ambitious. This upbringing might be making girls less likely to negotiate, which is contributing to the gender gap. But here's the thing: negotiation isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's a really important skill that can help find solutions that work for everyone. It's a skill that girls can, and should, learn to use to stand up for themselves, not just at work, but in all areas of life. So, how can we fix this? The book suggests a few strategies. For example, people in charge, like managers and HR professionals, can create an environment that encourages girls to negotiate. This could mean offering negotiation training, fostering a culture of open communication, and making sure that policies are in place to promote gender equality. In a nutshell, negotiation is a powerful tool, and it's high time that girls learned to use it. By doing so, they can help close the gender gap and reach their full potential.
02Don't wait for opportunities, make them yourself
Opportunities don't always come knocking at our door. More often than not, we have to roll up our sleeves and create them ourselves. This is especially true for women, who, according to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, often see their situations as set in stone and not open to negotiation. This way of thinking can greatly affect how women behave, making them more likely to put up with less-than-ideal situations instead of looking for ways to make them better. For example, if a woman isn't happy with her job, she might think she has no other option but to stick it out, rather than looking for a new job or asking for better conditions. This kind of thinking can hold women back and limit their chances for growth and success. Let's take the case of Stephanie, a woman from the book. Stephanie wasn't happy with her job but never said anything about it. But when she got a job offer from another company, her current boss asked her what it would take to make her stay. This gave Stephanie the chance to say what she wanted, and her boss agreed to her requests. By speaking up and negotiating, Stephanie created her own opportunity. This story shows a big difference in how men and women approach opportunities. Men are usually more proactive in looking for and creating opportunities, even when things seem impossible. This difference is shown in the idea of "locus of control," which is how much people think they can affect their own situations. Women often have an external locus of control, meaning they feel like life happens to them, while men usually have an internal locus of control, thinking they can shape their own future. This difference in locus of control isn't just seen in American women, but in women from 14 different countries. This shows that women's tendency to see their situations as unchangeable is a worldwide issue, shaped by societal norms and expectations. The imbalance of power in society plays a big part in shaping these views. From a young age, kids are often taught that men are the ones in control, which can make women feel like they can't change their situations. To fix this, we need to set better examples for our kids. We should encourage girls to take on responsibilities, make their own decisions, and understand that they have the power to shape their own lives. By doing this, we can help to get rid of these power differences and empower women to create their own opportunities.
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Full summary is waiting for you in the app
03The pay gap isn't just about discrimination, it's about societal expectations
04We assume men and women act differently, but should we?
05Being assertive isn't just for men
06If you're afraid to negotiate, you won't get the best deal
07Aim high in your career or you won't get far
08Women can be great negotiators by using their unique strengths
09Conclusion
About Linda Babcock, Ph.D., Sara Laschever
Linda Babcock, Ph.D., is a James M. Walton Professor of Economics at Carnegie Mellon University, specializing in negotiation and dispute resolution. Sara Laschever is a writer and researcher, focusing on women's life and career obstacles. They co-authored "Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide".
