You Got Anything Stronger? Stories

01Feeling like a failure for not having a baby?

Gabrielle Union's journey with fertility is a story that hits home for many women. It's a tale that's often kept hush-hush, misunderstood, and wrapped in a blanket of silence. Union, who's got a few years on her hubby, Dwayne Wade, felt the weight of society's expectations when it came to having kids. The idea that a woman should be able to get pregnant and carry a baby full term is deeply rooted in our culture. When Union couldn't, she felt like she'd failed. But here's the thing - Union isn't alone. Loads of women who have trouble getting pregnant feel like they're not enough. Why? Because society often ties being a woman to being a mom. If you can't have a baby, you're somehow less of a woman. That's a heavy load to carry, and it can make you feel like you've failed. For Union, this feeling was made worse by the thoughtless comments and questions from people around her. Folks would ask if she and Wade were going to have a baby, and when they found out about her fertility struggles, they'd suggest surrogacy. While they might have meant well, these comments just made Union feel worse. It was like they were saying she wasn't capable of having a baby herself and should let another woman do it for her. And then there were the accusations that she was robbing her husband of the chance to have another kid because of her age. That one really stung because it was based on a misunderstanding. Union hadn't purposely put off having a family. She'd actually been dealing with adenomyosis, a condition that probably affected her fertility since her 20s but wasn't diagnosed until she'd gone through several rounds of IVF. By sharing her story, Union is shining a light on the reality of fertility struggles. She's showing the emotional toll it takes, the judgment and misunderstanding that often come from society, and the feeling of failure that many women experience when they can't carry a baby full term. Her story is a reminder that fertility struggles aren't a woman's failure, but a medical issue that needs understanding and support.