Bringing Up Bébé

01American parents overthink parenting, unlike the chill French ones

When Pamela Druckerman, an American mom living in France, started observing the parenting styles around her, she noticed something striking. French kids seemed to be better behaved and their parents, well, they seemed more laid-back than their American counterparts. This got her thinking, and she decided to dig a little deeper into the French way of raising kids. In America, it seems like parents are always on edge, constantly worrying and hovering over their kids. This is largely because of a deep-seated belief in American culture that kids are emotionally delicate and that every single decision a parent makes could potentially harm their child. This idea has its roots in the psychoanalytic approach, a method that has been a big part of American psychology and parenting advice for a long time. This method often puts too much emphasis on the child's needs and feelings, which can lead to parents being overly protective. On the other hand, French parents seem to have a more chilled-out approach to parenting. Of course, they care about their kids' safety and well-being, but they don't let this worry take over their lives or their kids' lives. They take sensible steps to keep their kids safe from dangers like strangers, allergies, and choking hazards, but they don't freak out about these risks. This cool and balanced approach lets French parents set clear boundaries for their kids, allowing them the freedom to explore and learn within those limits. This difference in parenting styles creates a very different family vibe. American families often seem to be in a constant state of stress, with parents always playing referee to their kids' behavior and activities. In contrast, French families seem to be more chilled out and harmonious, with kids who are more independent and well-behaved. Druckerman's observations suggest that the American way of parenting, with its focus on psychoanalysis and overprotection, might not be the best way to raise kids. Instead, the French way, with its balance of care and freedom, might lead to a healthier and more enjoyable family life. In the rest of her exploration, Druckerman looks at specific parts of French parenting, like how French moms stay healthy during pregnancy, how they get their babies to sleep through the night, and how they discipline their kids without being too strict. These insights offer practical advice for parents who want to try a more relaxed and effective approach to raising their kids.