Cribsheet

01Trust your own parenting style, don't let others dictate it

Becoming a parent is like stepping into a whole new world. It's a journey filled with a whirlwind of emotions, a ton of responsibilities, and a million questions. As you find your way through this uncharted territory, you might be tempted to ask for directions from those who've been there before. But as Emily Oster, Ph.D., points out, it's important not to let other people's maps dictate your own unique adventure. Picture this: you've just moved into a new house, and you've got a new neighbor. This isn't just any neighbor, though. This is someone you already love more than anything else in the world. This person will grow up, get a car, land a job, and go through their first heartbreak. But before all that, you've got a whole lot of stuff to figure out. The idea of how much your life is about to change can be pretty daunting, and you might find yourself wrestling with how to make the best decisions for your little one. Your first thought might be to ask other parents who've been there, done that. But remember, everyone's journey is different. What works for one family might not work for yours. Oster shares a story from her own life to make this point. She talks about the time she was trying to get her son, Finn, to stop needing to be swaddled. The internet is full of tips and tricks on how to do this, but when she put Finn to bed without a swaddle because it was too hot, he just grunted a bit and fell asleep. No magic tricks, no fuss. Finn was chill about the whole thing, unlike his older sister, Penelope, who had a tougher time with the change. This taught Oster a couple of important lessons: • When it comes to parenting, you don't have as much control as you might think. • Even though you might not have control, you always have choices. There's a lot of pressure on parents, especially new ones. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what you should do: "If you don't breastfeed, your kid will be behind," or "My kid was walking by that age!" Oster's goal is to reassure parents that they're doing just fine and to encourage them to make the choices that are right for their own families. Instead of giving you a one-size-fits-all answer, Oster gives you the facts you need to make informed decisions. She's done the research, so if you're struggling with a decision, you can look at the data she provides for guidance. So, while advice from others can be useful, remember that your parenting journey is your own. What works for one family might not work for yours, and that's totally okay. You have the power to make the best decisions for your family, based on your situation and the information you have.