This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids
Dannielle Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo
17 min
7 Key Points
4.6 RateWhat's inside?
A comprehensive guide offering practical advice and support for parents navigating the journey of understanding and accepting their child's homosexuality.
You'll learn
1. Getting your head around your kid's sexuality2. Talking right with your gay kid3. Backing your kid's self-discovery journey4. Handling society's prejudices5. Learning and teaching about LGBTQ+ stuff6. Making home a safe space for your kid.Key points
01Coming out is a journey of self-discovery, not just a one-time announcement
"Coming out" isn't just about saying "I'm gay." It's a whole lot more than that. It's a journey, a process of understanding who you are, accepting yourself, and then sharing that with the world. Think of it like a road trip. The first part of the trip is all about figuring out where you're going. This is when a person starts to realize they might be attracted to the same sex. It's a time of questioning, exploring, and trying to make sense of these new feelings. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster, especially when these feelings don't match up with what society expects. Next up on the trip is acceptance. This is when a person comes to terms with the fact that they're gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. It's a big deal because it's all about accepting yourself, even when society might not. It's about deciding to be true to who you are, no matter what. The last part of the journey is coming out. This is when a person decides to share their sexual orientation with others. It's a big step, and it can be scary because there's always the risk of rejection or discrimination. But it's also freeing, because it means living openly and honestly. In their book, authors Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo dive deep into these stages. They share real stories from LGBTQ+ youth, showing the ups and downs of each stage. They also give some great advice for parents on how to support their kids through this journey. For example, they talk about the importance of open communication, patience, and understanding. They suggest parents really listen to their kids, validate their feelings, and reassure them that they're loved no matter what. They also stress the importance of learning about LGBTQ+ issues and getting professional help if needed. So, to wrap it up, coming out is more than just saying "I'm gay." It's a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-expression. It takes courage, resilience, and a whole lot of support. And as parents, it's our job to provide that support and help our kids navigate this journey with love and understanding.
02Your first reaction to your child coming out matters a lot
Imagine this: your kid just told you they're gay. It's like finding a new room in your house you never knew existed. You might feel a whirlwind of emotions - surprise, confusion, maybe even a bit scared. But remember, this room, this part of your kid's identity, has always been there. You're just seeing it for the first time. First things first, take a deep breath. It's okay to feel a bit overwhelmed. But don't let those feelings control your first reaction. If you've always been chatty about your kid's love life, keep that up. Crack a joke, keep things light. This shows your kid that their big news hasn't changed how you feel about them. But if you're not the type to chat about personal stuff, don't suddenly start now. That could make your kid feel weird. What if you find out your kid's gay without them telling you? That's a tricky one. Don't react on impulse. Take some time to process. It's okay to get emotional - lots of parents do. Once you've got your feelings in check, you've got two choices. You can either talk to your kid about it or wait for them to bring it up. If you decide to chat: • Make sure your kid knows you respect their privacy. • Don't say things like, "It doesn't matter." You might mean well, but it can sound like you're brushing off their big news. Let them know you understand this is a big deal for them. • Let your kid talk about their feelings. Don't interrupt or judge. If you decide to wait: • Don't keep your feelings to yourself. Talk to a friend you trust. • Show your support in small ways to make your kid feel safe. But don't go overboard, like suddenly putting up a poster of a famous gay person. Keep it subtle. • When your kid does tell you, be honest. If you already knew, don't pretend you didn't. In a nutshell, your first reaction to your kid coming out as gay is super important. Be respectful, supportive, and honest. This sets the stage for all the chats you'll have in the future.
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03You'll have questions after your child comes out, and that's okay
04Let your child decide when and how to come out to others
05Talk about safety issues with your child after they come out
06Gender expression isn't just for girls or boys, it's for everyone
07Conclusion
About Dannielle Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo
Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo are LGBTQ+ activists and co-founders of the advice website, "Everyone Is Gay." Russo is also the CEO and Editor-in-Chief of "My Kid Is Gay," a resource for parents of LGBTQ+ youth. They co-authored the book "This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids."
